Time

I really need some time alone. To reflect, to think, to analyze everything. I’m confused as a torn daughter, alone and inexperienced can be. There’s just so many things in this life that can’t be separated into black and white. I’m desperate for some time alone, somewhere peaceful and relaxing. I need to find answers, to find myself (yes, cliched as it may be) Things changed in an instant and the need to grow up came as unexpected as a breeze on a withering hot summer day. My perceptions are heightened and I feel like my brain’s an open house. Arguments in my head won’t stop, justifying each side effectively, equally. Needless to say, it’s crippling my decision-making skills tremendously. It has always been my weakness and now it’s simply burdening. Amazingly, I’m not wishing for a companion, a confidant. I’ve tried that and it wasn’t as successful as I expected it to be. What I need, is time and space, to think. Without any intrusion, without any distractions. My time is running out to accomplish that, or- it might only be starting. My journey to enlightenment might only be commencing. Oh, joy.

I have always believed that God has wonderful plans for my future, and I’ll never stop believing.

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November 2011
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