I’ve traveled through deserts and abandoned cities. For times I can’t remember how long. I walked on railroads waiting for the train to just run me over. Because, really. I didn’t think it would’ve pained me more than I was already feeling.

Eventually, it ended. His light blinded me so much that I no longer saw the monster I projected to myself.

Like a tree fruit I blossomed. Savoring the wind and swaying along. I rejoiced in the creatures surrounding me and learned that I could be happy.

Because He was there. Always have been. He was the cactus in the desert my pride refused to acknowledge. He was the train operator who pulled the breaks because it pained Him to pain me more.

He was the friend who counted my tears, even though my back was deliberately turned, His existence ignored.

He was the parent who watched over me and cleaned after the mess I made. He was the one I needed to seek. Now I understand.

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April 2012
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