What I Learned and What I Stand For

From what I have experienced, I must remember to not be blind, to not be shallow, and to not be desperate. In a few months, I learned to let go. I learned to shine for myself. I don’t need to chase, because if it’s running away, there’s no point tiring myself, my voice and my legs. It might be the wrong path to pursue, if it’s been years and the finish line just won’t come through. The message has been knocking on my door, but I was not only blind, I was also deaf to the truth. People can’t be saved from the depths of the waves if they keep holding on to the weeds that bind their limbs. And I was one of those people. But I thank Him because He didn’t let me drown. Even if it was just a second of my life left before He finally pulled, it was all so I could finally appreciate the life above. I was stubborn to the core, to the point of stupidity. But again, everything happens for a reason. And though my faith is not just a little but almost halfway blurred, this is what I stand for. I believe in my own way, I love Him in a way I can’t explain.

I am being remade and I no longer feel the need to rush. I might have said it before, but it feels more real now. However, there are still many states I wish to be in, and I keep wondering- is it our choices that define us? Or are they our sincere thoughts we want to reject for their sinful nature? I know I could explain this further, but maybe next time when my head is emptier (of requirements to submit) and the subjects are more clearly defined in my brain.

I am fully aware that this post lacks flow. So much that I flinch while rereading it. But honestly, I don’t even have time to make coherent thoughts flow. I just need an outlet and these are my honest feelings. So. There. =)

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August 2012
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