The Loudest Scream That is The Sound of my Keyboard

I’d normally ignore this and let it go because I am generally a forgiving type. But I know from experience that holding it in will just result in

maximal damage and


So I express the only way I know how, without shedding precious eye secretions that make my head pound.


I’ve chosen a path.

But I was pushed to the point of questioning how much



shame and


I am willing to take just to get through.

The challenge of overcoming a considerable amount of self-doubt and nursing a wounded pride can definitely take its toll on a person.

Being stuck in a situation where you can no longer find sufficient motivation because you’re blinded, because you’re hurt and because you’re tired.

The feeling of inadequacy that consumes and eats up positive energies you strove hard to embed into your personality. The optimism that took years to be developed, crushed by spatting and kicking realities you have

absolutely no control over.

The two words you refused to acknowledge, or even think about for the end is already so close, and is within reach. But of course, being that doesn’t mean that it’s also going to be easy.

What is life without a challenge, right?

What face will you show in the

future of harsher realities

if you haven’t been wounded and scarred in the past?


And with that, I end this public declaration of my current situation.


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September 2012
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