Cookie Cream Bar

As I was eating a cookie cream bar outside the room, trying to wake myself up, I look in the mirror. I scanned the room behind me and I think of my old house- the alternating patterns of little triangles on the stairs, the wooden curtain beneath it, hiding treasures from countries unknown.

In my mind, I sit on the sofa, facing the dining and the kitchen with the huge television and karaoke set to my left.

It was a beautiful thing,

to remember that as a child, parts of your own house remain a mystery. The mini “bodega” I was so scared of. The cabinets I used to hide in for different reasons. Even then I liked tiny moments to myself,

separated from the world as my tiny little mind tried to look outside the box and peer into how real the reality is.

These are memories that are so precious to me, I feel naked revealing them.

But I miss that life...

It was the time of innocence and naivety that I can never take a hold of ever again.

A ship that has sailed on a sea that is infinitely straight.

And it pains me, so very much, that just like the cookie cream bar that I was eating,

my life then felt so entirely different and unrelated to how my life is now.

And the sad thing is, the longing will never fade away as long as I live, because it was the best part of my life, with the best people that I know and love.

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October 2012
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