There will come a point in your life when your brain will seem devirginized by the world’s reality.

Your innocence and perfect view of the world will irrevocably be lost. The idealism that’s branded on your skin and that is exuded from your body will just be an odorless scent that impacts no one.

You will find yourself in a place where there’s no turning back. You’d want to go back and set your mind at ease. To that time when the world’s full of rainbows and butterflies. But you will only find yourself destroyed. And it hurts. And it’s frustrating. Because you will miss the goodness. You will miss the cleanliness. You will miss the purity.

You will try to scratch out what has tarnished you, but you will have to scratch away your own flesh in the process. And you love yourself too much to do that.


Daily Anecdote

A man with a dog came up the jeepney. The people were not amused, for the man was not what society would consider “presentable”, and his dog wore metal chains.

The people beside him leaned away and I honestly would’ve done the same- the dog could bite me and it might have fleas. I usually like dogs. But just like strangers I was told not to talk to, I try not to approach strange dogs.

Just then, two girls came up. One of them was sat beside the man with the dog and she patted the dog’s head with a smile on her young face.

Then I wondered…

She did it without hesitation, like it was the most normal thing in the world. I compared that with how I thought and felt. I suddenly found myself questioning my stand in this world.

Have I become one of those who view this earth as a fortress? Unhappy and always guarded, looking behind constantly, waiting for an attack?
Or am I actually a survivor, wisely prepared for whatever comes in this messy and chaotic jungle we call our home?

Was the girl a heroine of humanity with her purity and innocence, or was she a foolish damsel, serving nothing more than the vicious’ prey?

Pin the donkey’s tail (sans blindfold)

With eyes wide open, where do you look?
Do they stray far from the main road,
Or do they go by the book?

With eyes wide open, what do you see?
Is your vision in top shape condition,
Or is it filled with romanticized fantasies?

With thousands of days filled with experience,
How do you now decide and choose?
On which books to scan, which books to peruse?
Among hundreds of shelves, what is your route?


by Adrienne Luzanne

That’s just how it is

And even before the tears started,
I have decided.

In fact, the tears fell
because I wasn’t happy about it.

But in life, choices made
aren’t simply happiness-based.

In life…
We suffer. We smile.
We fall. We stand.
We fight. We yield.
We care. We cry.
We love. We hurt.

And that’s just how it is.

In Cruel Universe [ICU]

Tonight I shall rest my eyes,
for tomorrow’s another fight.
Here and there are pleas for help
The loudest one comes from my chest.
I hear them all and serve my best
On rocks piled high I laid to rest
But mine are heard by Him alone
Oh how I long for my own home.


Written on October 22, 2011, 23:00

“Escaping from the reality that has trapped me for eternity.”


Adrienne Luzanne

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