I have never asked for grandiose gestures, nor expensive and luxurious gifts. The tiny things that give me simple, but pure joy need no audience, whether big or small. It only needs to be seen and felt by me, it only needs to be true. Is it?

To be reminded that I am remembered even in the most minute detail is worth more than a bag of diamond rings and delicate strings of pearls. I would honestly shout yes, if you ask for my hand, even with just a ring made of santan flowers.  I am not saying I want no gestures. I am not saying I am apathetic to romance. I only want simple things. I only want you. What about you?

And I want you to understand- that despite all that the eye can see, when people look at me, I am a simple girl with a simple dream. I’ve told you many a time, I want that one thing that I never had. Do you remember?

Let’s, you and I, build a house on a mountain, someplace none can follow. These are the words that my heart is singing. These are the stories my life is living. Do you know them?


I Won’t Give Up

I heard this song while watching a Korean drama (of all things). I liked the melody and the first line I heard caught my attention: “I won’t give up.” The first thought that crossed my mind was: I want someone to sing this song to me. But as I got to the line that says:

I see that you’ve come so far to be right where you are. How old is your soul?

I thought, “Hey, that sounds familiar.” And then the chorus started.

I won’t give up on us

Even if the skies get rough

I’m giving you all my love

I’m still looking up

All romantic thoughts flew out of my head. Suddenly, a girl who looks very much like me flashed through my mind. She was sitting beside me, wrapping a reassuring arm around my shoulders. She was whispering words of encouragement as I continue to bow my head. I was a picture of helplessness, but she was there, always. And together, we lifted our heads, soaking in the light of Glory and Mercy, smiling as we believe, as we hope, as we stand up and move on.

She was strength, she was hope, she was support. Hovering all the time, always ready to push when my feet refused to step forward. She builds a bridge from scratch for me to cross when I’m too scared to jump. She looks up from time to time and she makes sure I’m looking. She reminds me we’re not alone, she reminds me that He’s there.

She tells me I’m worth it, she tells me I’m going to make a difference.

She tells me I’m loved and whole. She tells me to be patient and good.

She’s my conscience, she’s my other half, she’s me.

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July 2018
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