There are people who will watch silently as you fail and make a fool of yourself. Then there are people who choose to be frank to help you save yourself from public disgrace.

There are people you’ve known for awhile who will defend you behind your back. Then there are people who will say yes to your face, then say no once you’re out of earshot.

There are people who are willing to learn, and can admit their mistakes. Then there are people who will say anything, regardless of their erroneous arguments, just to prove they’re “smarter” and “wise”.

There are people who will ignore reason that’s slapping them in the face, just so they can defend their personal pleasures. And there are people who will justify illogical actions because they’re too prideful and they want to remain superior.

There are people who will filter out what’s bad, so they can dwell in the good. Then there are people who have hero-complexes who try to save the pitiful loons. But that’s just an excuse. A pathetic ruse. So among these who’s, which one are you?

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Hello 2017

I started my 2017 by reading a book. Indulging in the quiet as people continued to slumber after the previous night’s festivities. Because I realized that expecting from these literary pieces harbours a more positive vibe within me than expecting from people who always make you wait,  people who make you think the worst of yourself, people who make you think their lives are perfect, people who are on your side only at times when they feel superior, people who won’t clap at your success, and the list goes on and on.

In my two decades of existence, I have just now learned to really love myself first. I am my own constant companion and it is very important that I love and respect myself first, so I can enjoy life with my head held high. Time spent on me, on bettering myself, is a much greater investment than time spent on chasing the ones mentioned above.

Hence, I greet you all readers, ‘Have a wiser year!’, instead of just a ‘Happy new’ one, that would only last for a day or two.

There will come a point in your life when your brain will seem devirginized by the world’s reality.

Your innocence and perfect view of the world will irrevocably be lost. The idealism that’s branded on your skin and that is exuded from your body will just be an odorless scent that impacts no one.

You will find yourself in a place where there’s no turning back. You’d want to go back and set your mind at ease. To that time when the world’s full of rainbows and butterflies. But you will only find yourself destroyed. And it hurts. And it’s frustrating. Because you will miss the goodness. You will miss the cleanliness. You will miss the purity.

You will try to scratch out what has tarnished you, but you will have to scratch away your own flesh in the process. And you love yourself too much to do that.

Healing

 
 

I’ve written about patience and resilience, but where do I stand now?
I’ve always disliked inconsistence, but what am I doing now?
I’ve rallied for forgiveness and second chances, but why do I remain silent?
Indeed, they were right. That what you preach is hardly easy to stand by.

Words of wisdom, take them all in, keep them in mind.
But without true heart, they’re foreign textbooks
you can’t read, you can’t unbind.

So find your answer with time,
they say it heals.
The time you take to think straight,
when you allow your heart to heal,
your wounds to close,
your tears to dry,
your eyes to see.

Recover in selflessness,
and be one with kindness.
Don’t be confined in darkness.
Find freedom in His likeness.

 

Dreams

I don’t know which inspirational thought from this weekend I am going to quote. I don’t know which realization I am going to reflect on.

But there’s this dream I hate to dwell on. So dwell in it, I shall. Because I like to subject myself to pointless mental tortures.

Dreams are our subconscious’ desire. Or so they say. I’d look up more definitions, but I figured it wouldn’t really matter. Because in the end, my stubbornness will win over whatever logical explanation I may find.

I have dreamt of nightmarish murders and thrillers. I have dreamt of completely random situations with everyday people. I have dreamt of a lot of things I can’t remember. But there’s this constant scenario I have been dreaming of for almost a decade now. And I’m wondering whether it’s running the same course of “you always want what you can’t have”. It’s a thirst of curiosity that was never quenched.

. . .

Well. That’s it. I guess this post is completely useless. Aside from the implications of me posting about it.

So, the stubbornness I was referring to is the conclusion: I may believe that some dreams ultimately turn into reality. That if you keep dreaming about it, it will somehow materialize itself into tomorrow. But it’s a silly thought that, so far, has not been proven. That no one has ever tried to prove, I think. So, yeah. This is pretty much pointless. Pointless, time-wasting mental tortures.

My Greatest Comfort

I flip the pages and stall.
Make either the days grow long,
or the time slow down.

is what I thought.

I lie down and close my eyes.
Should I rest now or later?
is what I pondered.

I almost whined.
But then You asked to talk.
And I said, “Alright, I guess .”
Then I realized,
Not ‘I guess’. Not ‘I should’
But ‘I want to’
Because the only one
who never disappoints,
is You.

And just the thought of that,
makes me smile,
gives me peace,
gives me strength.

🙂

Life Goes On

Even if it seems pointless or unfair,
Try to understand, try to accept.

Even if every fiber of your being resists,
Take one step, and the rest shall follow.

Even if your heart is burdened,
And the pain almost unbearable,
Be someone’s reason to live.

For the world is not a one-way telescope
There are millions of other perspectives
It does not revolve solely around your own.

There may be doubts,
that’s within reason.
Fears? To each his own.
But still, life goes on. Doesn’t it?

That’s just how it is

And even before the tears started,
I have decided.

In fact, the tears fell
because I wasn’t happy about it.

But in life, choices made
aren’t simply happiness-based.

In life…
We suffer. We smile.
We fall. We stand.
We fight. We yield.
We care. We cry.
We love. We hurt.

And that’s just how it is.

What Do I Do?

I had a scary thought. And just like most thoughts, it came out of nowhere…

What if the food you were  expecting for dinner was not just different from what you’re expecting, but is totally non-existent?
What if there wasn’t anything prepared at all?

Time stopped for a moment and the suspended dust particles blinked at me.
They seem to be asking,
Whatcha gonna do about it, huh? Whatcha gonna do?
in an annoyingly tantalizing way.

Then time resumed and hot polluted air whipped past my face.

So.. What am I going to do about it?
It’s the most horrendous thing that could happen because-
Come on.
How many of us are not expecting food on the table at meal times, right?
(I know there are a lot. And I’m sorry for even verbalizing/writing/thinking it)
Just- among those who can read this, alright?

And I’ve been looking forward to that dinner ever since I woke up. So…

Am I going to whine about it?
Am I going to flip the table and act out?
Am I going to be blind and naive and stubborn that I’m going to still sit there and wait?
Or am I going to simply walk away from the table, accept it, and move on to my bedroom to sleep?

What do I do?

I wonder…

Resilience

And even though the world is not always fair,
people still find it in their hearts to forgive.
And I think, that’s what makes this world beautiful.

Darkness will always come,
and tears will always manage to fall.
But we are strong and valiant to overcome them all.

If we can be blind for love,
can’t we also be blind for forgiveness?
Since mistakes are universal,
just like us beings.

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